Harmony Under All Conditions
by Abbey Kingdon
It was hard to admit that I didn’t know what to do. It was hard to acknowledge what was happening at UVE. This wasn’t supposed to happen to us. We had a shared Holistic Context, a mission and vision that we loved as a group of women in business together. If anyone could figure this out, it was us.
And yet. Here we were walking on eggshells around each other, in meetings with tension and uncomfortable silences, emotional eruptions, empty seats, and indecision. How did we get here? How did this happen to us? All of us wanted out of “the yuck,” but we didn’t know how or what to do.
Meeting Jessie Kushner of Collective Voices, through my friend and colleague Virginie Pointeau at the Savory Institute, was an “ah ha” moment for me. I finally saw that:
Collage using images from Savory Institute & UVE Hub
I was in denial about what the culture at UVE had become
I didn’t know what to do about it
There was a better way
A few weeks later, the crew at UVE sat in a circle with Jessie at a McMenamins outside Portland, Oregon working through 2 1/2 days of restorative practices and Circle work to learn the framework, processes, and tools needed to build a culture of positive peace at UVE. Restorative practices are Indigenous in origin, and speak to shifting a colonizer mindset, set of values, and orientation. Restorative practices include both a framework and set of tools for how to approach interactions while centering the safety, needs, and wellness of all involved. When I learned about the concept of positive peace through work with Jessie, introduced by Johan Galtung, I wondered if I had ever truly experienced it in a workplace. Given that Western society and culture at large, is not based on restorative practices, most of us likely have not heard of or experienced positive peace, nor do we know how to create and sustain it. It turns out, in my feeling lost as to what to do about the culture of negative peace that had evolved over time at UVE, I am not alone. This article explains the peace continuum. Violence is on one end of the continuum, negative peace is in the middle (and is technically defined as the absence of violence,) and positive peace is at the other end of the continuum. Productive conflict cannot exist in an environment that is violent or where negative peace is prevalent.
The lessons from Jessie that were transformative for me were:
Culture (in the context of a family, group, or organizational “vibe”) is largely defined by two things: how conflict and repair are handled, and how positive and constructive feedback are given and received.
In restorative work, relationship dynamics mimic “Natural Law” (cause and effect, not shame and blame.) Restorative values demonstrate that what each person thinks, feels, and believes matters, and that multiple truths exist and are welcomed.
People impact each other both negatively and positively all the time. We need to normalize this, implement clear processes for how to support people in taking accountability for their negative impact on others (even if they did not intend it), and learn how to take steps to repair.
In the spirit of acknowledging impact, I wondered what impact we had on Jessie, and what impressions she formed of UVE. She shared that:
“It is common that organizations linger in negative peace simply because they are not aware of the alternative or how to get there. From my first interactions with UVE staff, I felt welcomed, trusted, and that each person was truly invested in shifting their group culture towards positive peace. The openness, humility, vulnerability, wisdom, and patience with our process and with one another was ever-present. Getting to know all of the staff in our time working together (and including those who could not make it to Portland) has had a positive impact on me. I learned about the beautiful work UVE is doing in the world, and am touched and inspired by the personal relationships we built, the laughs we shared, and the work that we accomplished together.”
Group participating in Circle work
Photo from Collective Voices
Jessie taught us tools and processes we can use for “cultural hygiene” (that’s a word I made up based on our learnings this year.) This is what it feels like to me. Everything needs cycling and clearing - our homes, our cars, our bodies, our energy, so of course our interpersonal connections too need cleaning and clearing to stay healthy. We now have weekly processes that we work through to keep our relationships with each other unblocked, flowing freely like a healthy river. We also share a deep knowledge and understanding of the principles of restorative practices, and are deeply committed to the work - which is truly a daily choice, a daily commitment. And through this, the promise of positive peace is that we could create an organization (and maybe someday a world?) where it is possible to sustain harmony and equilibrium under all conditions, even, and perhaps especially, during moments of conflict and tension.
Caity Roberts shared her experience with UVE’s cultural repair work:
“One of my favorite takeaways from our time with Jessie was the normalization of “intentions AND impact.” This means that even if our intentions are good but we learn that we have had a negative impact on others, we can use a clear process to address both the intentions and the impact. The person who “caused” the negative impact has the opportunity to tell their story, their intention, what led to the impact. And the person impacted has an opportunity to share in what ways they were impacted and what they need to begin to repair. All of our stories and perspectives have value.
Coming to these new (to me) processes as a recovering people pleaser, it is powerful to normalize that whether we mean to or not, we will negatively impact others at times. All the more true for anything with an intense emotional investment, such as that which all of us at UVE share around our work.
Given this reality, the skill-building we did around repair and moving forward, even within persistent conflicting realities, was immensely constructive. I feel like Jessie gave voice to things I knew on a subconscious level through not only offering us a common language and clear processes, but also a supportive space to practice and build skillfulness around the actual implementation (of these processes) that support a sustainable culture of positive peace.” — Caity Roberts, UVE Crew, Savory Accredited Professional
Abbey Kingdon is Savory Professional Educator and an owner of UVE